Voices From The Bitter Side

The checkout line at a supermarket always seems to turn up some kind of small talk, especially around the holiday season as it is now. At the Key Food store, I walked up to the checkout with a few small baking items. The little guy was in his stroller, bundled up in his snowsuit and adult-sized scarf.

The cashier - a woman in her mid-40s, I'd say - looked at me, said hi, then looked down at my year-old son. She made googley-eyes at him, and then, here it came.

"Oh, he's cute," she said. "That's the best age. It's downhill after that."

It occurred to me right there, that there is a reason mothers go gaga over babies of this age: THEY HATE THEIR OWN CHILDREN.

"My kid is 12 now, and all he does is talk back," she proceeded to inform me. That's nice, I thought, but having nothing else to say, I said, "so I have about 10 years?" To which she replied, "not even."

This is not a tirade against bitter mothers. But she was not the first to blurt out this pretty strong condemnation of her kid to a complete stranger.

The first time, Bad Mommy and I were standing in front of our local bodega. A woman walking with three children walked up to our baby - he was probably about six months old at the time - and began to ooh and aah, bending down to the stroller to get a closer look.

"He's so adorable," she said. "Enjoy him while they can. Cuz they turn into this - " at which point she turned and pointed at her teenage daughter. "They're angels at this age. Then they get an attitude," she informed me, who didn't particularly care.

Not exactly America's #1 Mom, this one. We just kind of ignored her and let her fawn for a minute, and then moved on.

But really: right in front of her daughter? This kind of comment is probably the exact reason the daughter is the way she is. Not to say I'm/we're going to be the perfect parents - we'll do the best we can. But I'd like to think that once the little guy starts to form opinions and starts to challenge me, this will be an exciting time. Perhaps I am naive; maybe I am stupid. But it was a harsh reality that these two women offered: after years of parenting, all these two had to show were strong, bitter remarks to strangers about their children.

I know this much: the day you catch me saying "and then they turn into this" as I point to my teenage son is the day that I need to have my Daddy License revoked.

Greenpoint: It's not just oil spills anymore!

File under: "GREAT!"

We already knew the nabe is home to an underground oil spill at least 3 times larger than Exxon Valdez. Then there are the giant glowing metal stomachs looming ominously over our horizon, reminding us of our proximity to a huge sewage treatment plant. Add to that reports of mystery goop oozing to the surface at various construction sites. And now this: chemicals from contaminated soil and groundwater that become airborne, entering buildings through pores and cracks.

What next? Radioactive scorpions that nibble at your eyeballs when you're sleeping? Well, at least they'd give the bedbugs a run for their money.

Remind me, why am I raising my kid in this part of Brooklyn?